Friday, June 4, 2010

What Happened to Your Blog?

Over the past 24 hours, I've received a fantastic number of e-mails from people asking, "What happened to your blog?"

Here's the answer:

We have discovered that one or more people from the Internet have taken it upon themselves to cyber-bully, stalk and harass us. We've received a number of directly threatening e-mails including statements that they intend to make false reports of child abuse to the authorities. These messages have made it clear that the group's goal is to have Danielle removed from our home at any cost. Some of these messages have included our personal identifying information. There is also some indication the group may be aware of Danielle's current location, and may be planning to harass or abduct her.

We are taking appropriate security measures to ensure her safety.

Nice.

These people may not realize it, but cyber bullying is a crime on both state and federal levels.

The federal law states:
Whoever...makes a telephone call or utilizes a telecommunications device, whether or not conversation or communication ensues, without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person at the called number or who receives the communications;...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both. [47 U.S.C. 223(a)(1)(C)]

Forty-seven states now have laws that include electronic communications in their stalking and harassment laws. Many of these states take this behavior seriously. Missouri, for example, has made this type of conduct a felony.

Since some states require that victims of cyberstalking formally demand that the harassment stop, here is my message:

    Stop harassing me, my wife, my child, my family and my personal and professional contacts. Stop sending me threatening messages, and do not attempt to interfere with my child while she is at home, at school or away. Furthermore, my blogs consist of copyrighted material, and under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (Pub.l. 105.304, 17 USC 512 et seq.) I demand that you cease and desist from redistributing my copyrighted materials, and that you immediately remove all copies of my copyrighted materials from the Internet.

A great many of these messages that we have received seem to indicate that the person or persons behind all of this are operating under the mistaken impression that removing Danielle from our home will be some type of rescue, and that she will be better off returned to foster care than remaining in our home.

I can't speak about the reality of foster care in other communities, but what I can say is that in our county this is most certainly not true. Our county's budgets are dwindling, and supportive resources for kids in foster care are becoming fewer and fewer. Whether you agree with our parenting style, or believe that we are bad parents, it's highly unlikely that ripping Danielle away from another family and returning her to foster care could possibly be in her best interest.

Knock if off, you guys.

By the way -- Danielle is safe and we've had communications with her and her current caregivers. All is well and she is doing great.

29 comments:

  1. I hope this helps. Agree or disagree, there is no excuse for the behavior of your trolls.

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  2. Insane. Absolutely insane. I don't comment often, but I do read, and I support you and your family.

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  3. Wow! I am so sorry that internet whackos have been harassing you. That is simply inexcusable! I hope the blog move helps. Ugghhh, some people just don't get it. I fully support your family and your decisions.

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  4. GAH. Unbelievable. Do people have nothing else to do with themselves?

    I was hoping that you'd have just shut down the blog so you could relax and enjoy the summer, and then I read this...

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this, on top of everything else.

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  5. Sorry to hear you've been subjected to all of this.
    Glad to hear Danielle is doing good.

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  6. Very sorry to hear this. I hope you get some relief and respite soon. You all deserve a break.
    Be well.

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  7. Wow. Every time I think there's nothing left to surprise me on the internet, I get surprised by the depths of some people's stupidity.

    Damn.

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  8. I'm so sorry that with thousands of kids sitting in group homes dreaming of someone to "resuce" them and provide them a forever family that these yahoo's are targeting your family. If they have the extra energy to expend I wish they would focus on the kids that really need a loving home versus a kiddo who is well taken care of. Be strong

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  9. This needs to stop... I've had people contact me before in regards to my blog trying to figure out who I was, and sometimes it seems as though people will do anything to figure things out.

    Danielle is safe, attaching, and doing much better in your home than she would be in foster care or a group home. Sure, at times, she's a complete P.I.A, but that doesn't mean you don't love her.

    These people need to open their eyes, and if they are so insistant on saving children, ask them how many of them are fostering/adopting children from the state!

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  10. I was afraid that might be why. I'm glad Danielle is doing well! Keep us updated. My mentee, Faith, who is at "boot camp" is not doing that great. I'll blog about it when I get a chance. She's RAD and I don't think it has made a lick of difference. =P

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  11. ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

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  12. Unbelievable. I may not always agree with you, but I can empathize with what you've gone through over the last few years. Hope you can kick the cybertrolls to the curb. Glad to hear D. is doing well.

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  13. I've been following your blog for a while now. I'm horrified that this happened! I'd like to think we can all agree that ALL that matters is that Danielle is safe, happy, and loved unconditionally.

    I hope everything works out. :)

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  14. That's really sad. I like reading your blog--I have a teenage daughter and while I haven't gone through everything you have, it's comforting to know that I am not alone on this journey and frustration of raising a daughter. I hope that everything settles down and that you can reopen your regular blog.

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  15. Good to find you! Hope this gets rid of the idiots!

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  16. I'm so behind on reading and commenting and I got really upset when I couldn't leave a comment. I apparently had really weird timing. I'm glad I found you again.

    Just wanted to tell you I have been where you are and am behind you 100%!

    Hugs and prayers,
    Mary in TX

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  17. I'm so behind on reading and commenting and I got really upset when I couldn't leave a comment. I apparently had really weird timing. I'm glad I found you again. Stupid, evil trolls!

    Just wanted to tell you I have been near to where you are, and I understand the emotions and am behind you 100%!

    Hugs and prayers,
    Mary in TX

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  18. That stinks. Shame on them. I don't agree with everything but I know full well that you have a strong committment to Danielle that will never be matched by any Social Worker or foster parent. And that will go far for her. Hang in there.

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  19. That is simply amazing. I just can't imagine!

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  20. I'm sorry to hear that you were targeted like this. I truly can't understand how anyone who reads your blog could fear for a child's safety or well-being; it's obvious to me that concern for everyone's safety and well-being is what you're writing about virtually daily.

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  21. I am sorry you have to go through this, some people need to get a life.

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  22. WOW! I just cannot understand the stupidity of people! I was concerned when I was unable to pull up your old blog. I seldom comment, but do keep up with your blog. So glad D is safe and untouched by these morons! Take care..

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  23. May I copy/paste the part about the laws onto my blog? I get harassed by one particular person who redistributes my posts, makes awful comments, tries to locate and out me, etc. and I would like to have it stop, even if that means pursuing legal action.

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  24. you have had three calls to cps,, man in the 20 years of parenting i have not had one,,,, interesting

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  25. I'd noticed your blog had disappeared, and I had been very worried. Unfortunately now I know there was cause to be worried.

    I know that at times I have disagreed with some of your parenting opinions, but I would never for a second assume you were trying to provide anything but the best possible home for Danielle. There are a million different ways to parent, and it is so obvious that you and foster eema are GOOD parents; even if I would sometimes choose a different path.

    I hope that your summer provides all the restorative benefits your family needs.

    Best wishes.

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  26. I'm so glad I finally found this. I've been worried and asked a couple other bloggers but didn't hear back so I had no idea. Finally tracked this post down via a comment on a blog. Just glad to hear you guys are okay (relatively). I'm mad at the bullies because I couldn't wait to see how your summer went and what happens next. Maybe you could update some of us via related blogs, maybe just a few words at the end of the summer (like Claudia's or Yondalla's?). Your family will be long in my thoughts and heart.

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  27. I totally miss your blog!! I am sorry it came to this!! This sucks!

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  28. Mrs Butter B (Stacie Guessworke)May 11, 2011 at 5:34 PM

    Insanity. I have no clue what the heck I missed while I was at work- I checked this morning, you had posted something about "go ahead", I was going to comment tonight when I got home and had more time and now, presto whammo, the whole durn things is gone. WTH?

    This is why I don't blog. Seriously, I could not handle the stress.

    And for the record- there is much evidence to support allowing the client to keep control of their choices- whether those choices are good or bad. In fact, SAHMSA (the mental health arm of the US govt) publishes a free TIP manual on "motivational interviewing" which includes the understanding that you "meet the client where they are"- and the whole basis of social work is supporting the client's right to self-determination. I've heard other counselors acknowledge the client's right to self-harm, while carefully monitoring the SI/HI risk for a possible need to IVC. Reverse psych I guess, but it seems to work much better than threatening the client with consequences or trying to persuade them out of it.

    I'll email you later- or you can shoot me one. Absolute freaking insanity!

    I hope you reopen your blog elsewhere- change the names, change whatever, even set up to blog through proxy- let someone else manage your page, you email your entries for that person to post them, then if someone wants to play "tracker dog", they'll be sniffing in the wrong yard. I value what you write- it gives me insight in working with adoptive parents and childhood mental health. You're very real, and a lot of folks can't handle that.

    Hang tight- choosing to exercise your right to free speech and freedom of the press do not constitute child abuse/neglect.

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