Friday, November 15, 2013


35 days have passed since Danielle's 18th birthday.  The last I heard from her was 34 days ago.

I am not surprised by the lack of communication.  In the end, it was pretty clear there wasn't much of a bond between us.  FosterEema has received some texts from Danielle, most of them focused on Danielle's desire to come home.

FosterEema, quite understandably, has been steadfast in her refusal to allow Danielle to live with her again.

Danielle accused FosterEema of abandonment.

I found myself shaking my head when FosterEema shared that round of communication with me.  Danielle was the one who, against all advice, withdrew from school, packed up all the stuff she could carry, and moved out of state.  It was she who made the decision to leave.

How is FosterEema abandoning her by refusing to rescue Danielle from an unwise adult decision?

For the record, Danielle is not at risk of becoming homeless or starving.  She's staying with members of her birth family.  As near as I can tell, she's simply suffering from a case of The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence.

Abandonment?  I don't think so.  FosterEema explained that Danielle had made decisions about how she treated people for the past seven years, and that she had also made the choice to move out.  Part of being an adult is to experience the consequences of one's decisions.

I agree.

I'm also sad.  I've been monitoring Danielle's social media accounts, and so far I haven't seen her post much that would indicate she is being productive.  She hasn't posted that she's enrolled in school or found a job.  She has written remarks that suggest she has been drinking.


It's incredibly sad.

Although my posts might imply otherwise, I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on Danielle.  FosterEema and I did the all we knew how to do.  Perhaps it wasn't enough, or the best.  However, we did fight for her.  We tried to do the right thing.

Was it the right thing?  It's hard to know.

These days, I spend most of my time working, repairing the house, and cultivating a new relationship.  My life is incredibly peaceful.  I no longer have to lock my bedroom door at night, worrying about what Danielle might do next.  I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

My finances are in order.  My house is clean.  While I still feel somewhat overwhelmed when I think about all that has transpired over the past seven years, I realize that it's over.  It's time for me to move on to the next thing, whatever that is.