Friday, October 11, 2013


It has been over a year since I posted here.

Today Danielle turned 18.

If there is anyone still hoping for updates on our story, here they are.

In July 2012, FosterEema asked for a divorce, though the reasons weren't what you would expect.  She decided that she would like to pursue relationships with men.  There was no infidelity, no affair, just a change in her orientation.

Last February, Danielle exploded.  She did considerable damage to the house and attacked us, injuring me.  She spent 21 days in juvenile detention, received some heavy duty counseling services (ones that we had requested and had been denied years before) and six months probation.

In April of this year, FosterEema and I signed a get, a document that grants a Jewish religious divorce.  We've delayed filing for civil divorce in order to to make the paperwork simpler and to maintain our health insurance.  Now that Danielle is an adult, I expect we will be filing soon.

We remained together as family, with FosterEema and I functioning as platonic roommates, until July of this year.  The original plan was for us to remain together until Danielle's 18th birthday, but FosterEema found a job in a neighboring county that required her to relocate.  Danielle moved with her, as I was afraid to be left alone with her.

Her challenging behavior continued after the move.

Danielle was scheduled to graduate from high school this coming June, but she has decided to withdraw.  Her biological half-brother, who lives in another state, has sent her a bus ticket.

While I'm happy that Danielle will finally get what she wants -- to be reunited with her birth family -- I fear this decision is not in her best interests.  I fear this move will prevent her from getting her high school diploma.

But of course she is an adult now, and she can make her own choices.


  1. Thank you for the updates--I've been wondering about your family since you stopped posting. I hope you all can live the rest of your lives happily and in peach.

  2. Been thinking about you all too. Sorry there is no good news. Wishing you a journey full of love and light in the future.

  3. As Llyn already said, I hope you get to live your life happily and in peace. It's not easy raising a child with RAD. Take comfort in the fact that you did what you could to help D.

  4. Holy shit. It can only get better, right? It seems it's for the best that you & Danielle are not living together.
    Ina, not anon.

  5. "Faithful Reader"October 16, 2013 at 3:40 PM

    I'm really grateful to hear what happened even though it's not a cheery story; I think of you every now and then and wonder. Best wishes to all three of your for the next chapters of your lives.

  6. So glad to hear that the nightmare has ended. Please do everyone a favor and never adopt again.

  7. I am so sorry that things have been so awful. You all three have my continued good wishes and I hope that your now-separate lives bring you all peace.


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