Monday, March 5, 2012

Peace Doesn't Mean Perfect

As I mentioned in my post last Thursday, we've been going through a relatively quiet period at our house.

It doesn't mean that Danielle is doing all that well.  She's still doing a lot that's less-than-desirable.  Although she's not arguing about doing her chores as much right now, she simply doesn't do them, or if she does do them, she doesn't do an adequate job.  Just about every day I find garbage she's thrown on the floor, or dirty dishes she's put back into the cabinet without washing them first.  If she does clean the kitchen, she'll only clean part of it, and leave visible dirt in easily seen areas.

It's frustrating.

And then, of course, there's the matter of her report card.  Although she has acceptable to good grades in her elective classes, the grades in her homeroom class stink.  On her most recent report card, she brought home a D- minus in one class, and she's failing another.

When I contacted her homeroom teacher to ask why Danielle is failing, I was told that the problem isn't because of Danielle's lack of ability.  Apparently, she comes to class, sits in her seat, and absolutely refuses to do any work, despite the staff doing everything they can to try to motivate her.

Danielle simply doesn't want to do the work, and nobody can make her do it.  She would rather refuse, just to win the control battle at school, even though this works to her detriment in the long run.  If she can't read, write and do basic mathematics, she will struggle in her adult life.

How is someone who is barely literate going to get by?

I don't know.  It's very, very sad.  Danielle's obstinate behavior only hurts herself in the long run.


  1. I am sorry that Danielle is playing the Mastery and Control game with academic work. Isn't it just crazy-making? Toots plays it too, every opportunity she gets. She's perfectly capable of earning a high school diploma, but we fear she is going to refuse to go back to school when she gets out of this hospitalization.

  2. You're right, you can't MAKE her be successful. It makes the old "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" saying seem so real. I have provided my kids with every tool they need to do school work, including a quiet, calm place to do it (no small feat in a large, noisy household). I have offered assistance, paid a tutor, older siblings have offered assistance, etc and you just can't MAKE someone want to learn, enjoy learning, or do the dang work! I spent years and years being frustrated. I want them to be successful! It make me crazy that they don't care!

    This is a true example of mental illness imho. To have so much help and not give anything back? unreal. So, she wins. Ask her how that's going to work out for her.

  3. If a horse dies of thirst while standing belly-deep in potable water, whose fault is it?


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