Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Crisis Management

It seems like, for the past few weeks, we've been jumping from crisis to crisis.  Danielle has exploded at home and at school, we've been struggling with finding the right help, we had to fire our pediatrician, and we've had to deal with biological family emergencies.

Yesterday, we spent a good chunk of the day resolving some major financial drama.  A small fraudulent transaction which started on an online music retailer's site ended up sucking money out of a popular online payment service's account, which in turn slurped cash out of one of our business'  accounts.  The day ended up largely wasted while we called and e-mailed different companies.  Finally, to prevent any more money from disappearing, we closed the affected checking account.

Ugh, drama.

It wasn't a lot of money, but obviously once the fraud was discovered we had to do something to prevent it from cascading into pure chaos.  In the end, I think we'll get everything back, because we discovered and reported the problem right away.

I'm not sure why so much drama keeps heading our way, but this morning I was nearly sucked into another situation.  This time, I was tapped by an acquaintance to help with a mess she could have  completely avoided, if she'd only listened to a service provider and scheduled an appointment for a mutually convenient time.

What is it with people?  Why is it they insist on making choices that lead to completely artificial emergencies?

I want to scream out to the universe, "Look before you leap, people!"

I ended up mostly declining to involve myself in my acquaintance's drama. I had been asked to do something that I can do, but don't feel comfortable doing, during a time that conflicted with today's work schedule.  I declined, but did make a few phone calls on my friend's behalf, though it didn't result in the help she needed.  She needed to reschedule her plans, and she didn't.

Now I'm not without heart.  I felt crappy when I said "no" to Danielle's birth family member and I felt crappy when I said "no" to my acquaintance.  I am willing to help people within reasonable limits, but I also feel like it's important to maintain some healthy boundaries.

Loaning out money to near strangers, or walking out on my job on short-notice for a few hours don't seem reasonable when both of these crises could have been completely avoided with just a little bit of planning.

I know the decisions I made in both of these situations were the right ones, but I still feel kind of crummy.  The truth is, I can't be all things to all people.  Even during easy times in my life I can't say "yes" to every request that's made of me.

But now, when I feel like I am jumping from crisis to crisis within my own family, I don't have the energy to get sucked into other people's drama.  Right now, I feel like I am swimming as hard as I can to keep my own head above water, and I can tell that my life-jacket is starting to become waterlogged.

I do care about the world and other people, but when I'm drowning, I don't know how I can help anyone else.

1 comment:

  1. Maybe giving up Danielle, and accepting the legal ramifications whatever they may be, will finally afford you a measure of peace.

    If you choose to do that, please also choose to stay in contact with Danielle, as abandonning her will just cause her more harm.

    Explain to her why you made the choice, but not in a condemning way. Explain that it was the healthiest choice for EVERYONE, but that you still care about her, and want her to do well in life, but just did not have the resources to see her succeed, so you had to choose a different path.



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